Chapter 6 Restless

Okay, I gave it away with the Negra Modelo. But there's a lot of mountainous coastline in Mexico, so I'm not worried yet about unsolicited visitors. And besides, they'd have to get past Horacio, who is six four, three hundred pounds, and from Sinaloa (If you don't know why that's important, Sinaloa, look it up.). His wife, Luz, makes the best shrimp tacos I've ever had in my life, which they tell me is a Sinaloan specialty. They are very different from the fish tacos they make here in the village.
Where was I? FD's persistence in reminding me of reality, I believe. He wanted me to be married, so I told him I was. Why not? He was never going to meet me anyway, so I might as well make him happy. Little by little, he wanted to know more about the "real" me, and little by little I created one for him. I was a lonely housewife. I was bored with my sex life. I was looking for more excitement. He pressed for details, of course. What city did I live in? What was the room I was in like? What was I wearing? I feigned reluctance but doled out the fiction, slowly but surely, measuring it carefully for his added pleasure.
At the same time I tried to convince him that the virtual woman, Scylaa in RLC, held the key, the only key he was ever likely to possess, to the real one. I believed that, still do, and not only because the real facts were lies. I believed it because the truth, the search for it, needing it, was why Scylaa existed. By telling her own story, which she did almost obsessively to anyone who would listen, she revealed a part of something much larger, a consciousness perhaps, of which she was no more than a tiny but important piece.
I knew a crisis was imminent. Sweet though FD was, and sincerely interested in pleasing me, he would never really be satisfied with Scylaa. I thought, and almost hoped, that he'd dumped me when he suddenly disappeared for a week. Maybe I was a little hurt, but at least I was spared the trouble of figuring out how to dump him, a challenge if I was to stay in character, given how devoted and submissive I was supposed to be. But then I learned the truth. He had put RLC on his computer at work and had nearly lost his job when his boss found out about it. I felt bad for him, but at the same time, this gave me the perfect out. I wrote him and told him that if he lost his job over me, I 'd never forgive myself, and that even though I still loved him and thought he was the best master ever, I was going to look for someone to take his place. I'd already told him that several people were trying to get me to change my allegiance. Now I told him that I'd see if I could get them to bid for me. How much was I worth? Just asking myself the question gave me a little thrill.